Of forgiveness...

I took over a youth cell last week and found myself being not very transformed in my temper and how I exhibit it.

Pastor Reynold says that when our conscience is sensitive to the Holy Spirit, unrighteous things will bother us. I know that I tore myself up for going at the lights near church but that's another story.

With this case, I was already bothered in my spirit from the time the cell was over. All the way home it bothered me: what I said, how I said it, and what he said.

Bill Hybels shared that in his meetings there are 'cry foul' moments. These are moments that are not righteous, where accusations are made and unfair statements thrown out. The person who receives the foul needs to rephrase the way they say things. If the group knew about the system, I would have cried foul of myself.

I later dug out my hamchoy list of youth contact numbers and wrote a 5 SMS long message to confess my sin and ask for forgiveness from this boy. Sometimes people will say that leaders should not show their weaknesses or admit their fault to those under them because they will cease to respect you. To the pits with face and pride.

I've come to realize that I very well misjudged my brother, although not entirely, but it is still a foul. It is easy to 'know' a person from hearsay, to make conclusions of one from others' opinions. It is easy, but not right. It creates also a biasness of opinion of them and a prejudgement.

If I ever hope to be a good leader, and eventually (though I hope this is a long way off) a pastor, I will not prejudge others.

This cheeky fellow saw me on Sunday and winked. *lol* Boys will be boys. And I take that as everything is forgiven. I can only say one thing about the whole incident and that is that I think we now have a more real relationship than before.

I used to wonder if I should act upon such a gut instinct. What if the wronged doesn't even feel it? I malufy myself for nothing? I make a mountain out of nothing? But I am starting to think that whether or not the person felt wronged, if God convicts me, I better do something about it!

So like that lah...perhaps more winks in the future? hahahaha!