Mentoring

I got a message today and it went something like this: Have you ever mentored anyone before?

Now, this question can go two ways.

1. Can you tell me HOW to mentor?

2. Can you mentor me?

Anyhow, my answer was candid. 'Haha! Yes and no. I never realized that I was doing it. Why?'

It was reason no. 2. This one is more intimidating. No. 1 I can always buy a book and hand it to the person. =)

I already know my response, even if it is intimidating (for me). I just wondered (and still do) if I am the right person. Someone once taught that, in mentoring, it is normally the mentor who approaches the mentee. The mentor selects. Just as Jesus selected. Now, I had long selected this one. I just thought I'd do my normal 'there, not there' (goodness, am sounding like Ivan!), 'keep an eye on' routine. Hence my 'Yes and no' answer. I do it without being accountable. Also, I thought the chemistry/affinity might be better with another leader, and not me.

And so, I've got myself an official mentee. Nope, not going to churn out a younger Melissa. Haha! That would be devastating! Trust me, it would be. =) So Lord, You gotta guide me here. So that this little one will be guided and encouraged to love and know YOU more. To be like Jesus more. To know His will. And to be faithful.

Funerals

After a few, even my own paternal grandma's, I am now confused as how one should behave in such an environment. Do you laugh? Do you put on a solemn face? What do you say to the relatives?

I remember one particular grand aunty who came to grandma's funeral saying quite distinctively 'Very sorry for you loss' without...well...without much sorrow. And farnee thing is that my late grandma was her sister! Why is she 'sorry for MY loss' when it is also very much HER loss too? I dunno lah...

Anyhow, today, I thought I'd say 'peace be with you' but when I shook the relative's hand, I just shook in silence.

Then, the farnee thing is how we all can gather at the table and talk about something totally out of the question! And then laugh.

I know we aren't supposed to be like so sad until feeling dejected and all. But I also dunno if we should be laughing at all.

However, I have noticed this. That if the deceased is above 70, and sickly, most of the time the mood is 'lighter'. These kind of funerals are expected to happen.

The ones that have sombre moods are when a life is taken 'prematurely'. I put it in inverted commas because, like it or not, their passing never catches God by surprise, nor was it out of His expectation. But these funerals are filled with so much sobbing and great ache. I am careful with my expression at these kind of funerals. Certain things are appropriate. Certain things are not.

Again, I don't know how to react, behave, express at funerals. I also need to practice on what to say, and who to talk to during these 'events'. Truth is, even though they are church members, most of them I do not know. Most of them I am not familiar with to sit down and have a decent conversation with. Ah...it's not that I am INDECENT. =) But basically, since I don't know the mood, and I don't know the people, I don't know what to say.

Most times I realize I worry too much. =) Most people don't notice me anyway. =) It's sometimes a good thing. =)