...to the valley of the shadow of death.
Pastor Reynold was musing about this. That I had to come down from the mountain top and the first thing that I have to handle is a funeral of a 17 year old.
I hate these kind of funerals.
The other day it was the funeral of a 7 day old baby. Today it is a 17 year old boy.
These 'premature' leavings are often harder to minister at. What do you say? How do you comfort? You just grieve with those who grieve. And when you hear the anguished cries and the uncontrollable tears...how can you even sing 'To God be the glory'?
Are Christians/Pastors bipolar? At one point, we can clap and praise the Lord and be speaking with joy in our voice. At another point, just a few hours later, we cry with those who cry and sing praise songs contemplatively...bringing a sacrifice of praise hesitantly.
Here's an ironic closing statement, which would seem heartless if read in the wrong light: Life goes on...
Showing posts with label Youth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Youth. Show all posts
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Of forgiveness...
I took over a youth cell last week and found myself being not very transformed in my temper and how I exhibit it.
Pastor Reynold says that when our conscience is sensitive to the Holy Spirit, unrighteous things will bother us. I know that I tore myself up for going at the lights near church but that's another story.
With this case, I was already bothered in my spirit from the time the cell was over. All the way home it bothered me: what I said, how I said it, and what he said.
Bill Hybels shared that in his meetings there are 'cry foul' moments. These are moments that are not righteous, where accusations are made and unfair statements thrown out. The person who receives the foul needs to rephrase the way they say things. If the group knew about the system, I would have cried foul of myself.
I later dug out my hamchoy list of youth contact numbers and wrote a 5 SMS long message to confess my sin and ask for forgiveness from this boy. Sometimes people will say that leaders should not show their weaknesses or admit their fault to those under them because they will cease to respect you. To the pits with face and pride.
I've come to realize that I very well misjudged my brother, although not entirely, but it is still a foul. It is easy to 'know' a person from hearsay, to make conclusions of one from others' opinions. It is easy, but not right. It creates also a biasness of opinion of them and a prejudgement.
If I ever hope to be a good leader, and eventually (though I hope this is a long way off) a pastor, I will not prejudge others.
This cheeky fellow saw me on Sunday and winked. *lol* Boys will be boys. And I take that as everything is forgiven. I can only say one thing about the whole incident and that is that I think we now have a more real relationship than before.
I used to wonder if I should act upon such a gut instinct. What if the wronged doesn't even feel it? I malufy myself for nothing? I make a mountain out of nothing? But I am starting to think that whether or not the person felt wronged, if God convicts me, I better do something about it!
So like that lah...perhaps more winks in the future? hahahaha!
Pastor Reynold says that when our conscience is sensitive to the Holy Spirit, unrighteous things will bother us. I know that I tore myself up for going at the lights near church but that's another story.
With this case, I was already bothered in my spirit from the time the cell was over. All the way home it bothered me: what I said, how I said it, and what he said.
Bill Hybels shared that in his meetings there are 'cry foul' moments. These are moments that are not righteous, where accusations are made and unfair statements thrown out. The person who receives the foul needs to rephrase the way they say things. If the group knew about the system, I would have cried foul of myself.
I later dug out my hamchoy list of youth contact numbers and wrote a 5 SMS long message to confess my sin and ask for forgiveness from this boy. Sometimes people will say that leaders should not show their weaknesses or admit their fault to those under them because they will cease to respect you. To the pits with face and pride.
I've come to realize that I very well misjudged my brother, although not entirely, but it is still a foul. It is easy to 'know' a person from hearsay, to make conclusions of one from others' opinions. It is easy, but not right. It creates also a biasness of opinion of them and a prejudgement.
If I ever hope to be a good leader, and eventually (though I hope this is a long way off) a pastor, I will not prejudge others.
This cheeky fellow saw me on Sunday and winked. *lol* Boys will be boys. And I take that as everything is forgiven. I can only say one thing about the whole incident and that is that I think we now have a more real relationship than before.
I used to wonder if I should act upon such a gut instinct. What if the wronged doesn't even feel it? I malufy myself for nothing? I make a mountain out of nothing? But I am starting to think that whether or not the person felt wronged, if God convicts me, I better do something about it!
So like that lah...perhaps more winks in the future? hahahaha!
Mentee resigned...
I knew the day would come. Being barred from seeing the fellow and not very much liked by his family anymore, it would prove to be almost impossible to mentor him. In addition to the fact that I am slow to move.
The fellow cited that he would need a guy mentor (something I did say earlier) since the stuff he goes through needs to be shared with a guy. Am not particularly discouraged, as I do think he would be better off with a guy who is more accessible to him and someone he can relate to.
As a pastor intern, I know that no longer being a mentor does not mean I will be any less involved in his life nor does it lessen the covering I am supposed to pray over him. It's funny...to get rid of Melissa from a person's life in church is quite hard. First, you have to get rid of her as an immediate leader. Then, you have to get rid of her as a church leader/pastoral care. Then, you have to get rid of her as a friend and acquaintance. So...ya, basically, sever one relationship with Melissa and you're still stuck with another 1 or 2 to get rid off.
The advantages of being an intern? heh...
The fellow cited that he would need a guy mentor (something I did say earlier) since the stuff he goes through needs to be shared with a guy. Am not particularly discouraged, as I do think he would be better off with a guy who is more accessible to him and someone he can relate to.
As a pastor intern, I know that no longer being a mentor does not mean I will be any less involved in his life nor does it lessen the covering I am supposed to pray over him. It's funny...to get rid of Melissa from a person's life in church is quite hard. First, you have to get rid of her as an immediate leader. Then, you have to get rid of her as a church leader/pastoral care. Then, you have to get rid of her as a friend and acquaintance. So...ya, basically, sever one relationship with Melissa and you're still stuck with another 1 or 2 to get rid off.
The advantages of being an intern? heh...
Friday, January 30, 2009
Mentoring
I got a message today and it went something like this: Have you ever mentored anyone before?
Now, this question can go two ways.
1. Can you tell me HOW to mentor?
2. Can you mentor me?
Anyhow, my answer was candid. 'Haha! Yes and no. I never realized that I was doing it. Why?'
It was reason no. 2. This one is more intimidating. No. 1 I can always buy a book and hand it to the person. =)
I already know my response, even if it is intimidating (for me). I just wondered (and still do) if I am the right person. Someone once taught that, in mentoring, it is normally the mentor who approaches the mentee. The mentor selects. Just as Jesus selected. Now, I had long selected this one. I just thought I'd do my normal 'there, not there' (goodness, am sounding like Ivan!), 'keep an eye on' routine. Hence my 'Yes and no' answer. I do it without being accountable. Also, I thought the chemistry/affinity might be better with another leader, and not me.
And so, I've got myself an official mentee. Nope, not going to churn out a younger Melissa. Haha! That would be devastating! Trust me, it would be. =) So Lord, You gotta guide me here. So that this little one will be guided and encouraged to love and know YOU more. To be like Jesus more. To know His will. And to be faithful.
Now, this question can go two ways.
1. Can you tell me HOW to mentor?
2. Can you mentor me?
Anyhow, my answer was candid. 'Haha! Yes and no. I never realized that I was doing it. Why?'
It was reason no. 2. This one is more intimidating. No. 1 I can always buy a book and hand it to the person. =)
I already know my response, even if it is intimidating (for me). I just wondered (and still do) if I am the right person. Someone once taught that, in mentoring, it is normally the mentor who approaches the mentee. The mentor selects. Just as Jesus selected. Now, I had long selected this one. I just thought I'd do my normal 'there, not there' (goodness, am sounding like Ivan!), 'keep an eye on' routine. Hence my 'Yes and no' answer. I do it without being accountable. Also, I thought the chemistry/affinity might be better with another leader, and not me.
And so, I've got myself an official mentee. Nope, not going to churn out a younger Melissa. Haha! That would be devastating! Trust me, it would be. =) So Lord, You gotta guide me here. So that this little one will be guided and encouraged to love and know YOU more. To be like Jesus more. To know His will. And to be faithful.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Youth Camp
The beginning of December was quite busy for me as I traveled from PJ to KB and then back and then up to Gentings. I had anticipated that I would feel burnt when I reached Gentings. It did not particularly appeal to me as I really just wanted some time alone, to recuperate.
Getting me a room to myself for the first night was perhaps a wise decision made earlier by Iris. At first I thought it would be used for counselling purposes. But in the end, it was used for my own recuperating purposes so that when out with the youth, I would be more effective.
The first afternoon/evening, before the session began, I sat on the floor of the room, stared at the bible, and began to pour myself out to God. What in the world did He put me here for. For enthusiam and energy, the youth have Ivan to look up to. For direction and authority, they have Iris. For 'entertainment' they had Pastor Victor. What did they need me for?
I get up from the floor, and resolve to be useful to whomever, whenever. Here am I, Lord...what do You want me to do? Open my eyes to those You want me to touch, even if it's just one. It matters. I'll be there. Show me where to go, where to be.
After the first session, I think things go pretty smoothly, though I have my reservations about the speaker. I am minding my own business when suddenly the camp commandant urgently beckons me to come. Her tone worries me. And lo behold, the speaker is praying for one of our youth. After whispering something to her, he gets up and leaves and the 'floor' is left to me. The youth either expect me to say something or do something.
My heart breaks to hear her story.
Later on, another girl comes to talk to me. With her, I have a little less compassion. Some may think I am harsh sometimes, especially if you hear my tone. Those very experienced in counselling might be aghast at my choice of words and levelness. If you come to me for a pity party, you won't get it. I will tell to your face what I think you should do, take it or leave it. Whatever your choice, because I am your leader, I will still have to watch over you. But I am not going to pity you. I am not going to coax you gently out of it. I will declare to you who you are in Christ Jesus, and ask that your ears be closed to the devil's lies.
Later, I have a discussion with one of the leaders, whom I am trying to mentor very low profile-ly. It's a good discussion. I am surprised he opens up and shares his opinions.
First night over.
The second night...Pastor Victor invites the local leaders to minister to the youth, to 'welcome them home' with a hug. There are quite a few adult helpers around, so this is good. I look around to see if we miss anyone. I see my cousin. Sometimes, the most overlooked people are the leaders themselves. And often the musicians. I see a young adult needing a shoulder to lean on too. Later on, I see a young girl. She seems to avoid me, so I stay clear.
Later I decline to go for supper with my peers because I think I should 'be there'. I start to pack up my bag things and suddenly the girl who avoided me, barges into me, and starts to pour out her heart! Truthfully, I hardly understand what she is saying. After 1 and a half hours of wailing and crying, I learn to discern when and how to stop a counselling session.
Jojo muses that I have just been tested in all expects of pastoral care in one night.
The next night, again, another ministering time which local leaders are invited to help minister. This time we are asked to pray for them. God opened my eyes to see that He doesn't see the person, but He is God. He will come upon whom He wants, not because of the volume of the prayer or the experience of the one praying.
I also am challenged as to how to encourage my own cousin. Basically I try to tell him that no matter how great a leader you are in CF or in youth, you're still allowed to be my little cousin, whom I will take care of, and it's okay to be vulnerable for a moment. I remember him as more expressive when he was younger...but I guess they do grow up. And I recognize that though I am his cousin, I have yet to earn his trust as a friend and leader. And so, we'll build and see what happens. The next day, he gives me this aww shucks look. And I know he's okay.
Pastor prays for specific age group people, encouraging them with words of prophecy and exhortation. As I allow another girl to just lean on my shoulders, I pray that he will also encourage one of our leaders whom I feel people overlook and whom I dunno how to reach. God answers. Am glad.
Before the night ends, another young girl comes to me and asks if she can just have a chit chat with me. I start to wonder if God has engraved on my forehead 'I only look fierce, but am a softie'.
After our short heart to heart talk, the adult helpers suggest to go to McDs. Ivan drives. Sometimes, I think Ivan is like Kean Khang. He assumes the role of driver, no questions asked. In the car, the 3 guys do most of the talking. It's kind of nice not to have to make conversation. After a long day, it's just nice to be around people without having to speak.
By the end of the camp, I no longer ask why I was there. I also learn a valuable object lesson for my own life. God convicts me of my weakness and sin and reluctance to move forward. You cannot reach the mountain top if you are forever contemplating whether to take the first step.
Quite a lot of ice is broken with the youth too. Though I can't get in sync with them like Ivan does, or command them like Iris does, but as Pastor Reynold says, they need to know that you are there if they need you. So, there I'll be. (Faith Hill song?) With that 'chop' on my forehead.
I have much to learn and to equip myself in. The question was am I willing to. And if I have no passion for anything in particular, why do I not ask? There is also a pattern of heartbreak for me in camp. Of our youth and broken families. Whether it is cold silence, absent parents or even a straying spouse, many of these kids bear the brunt of it and don't have people to share with. You can't sing with all your heart 'Break my heart for what breaks Yours' and expect to come out unscathed.
I don't intend to be some hero either. The experience in camp showed me that I am inadequate. But I serve a more than adequate God. I am to seek Him with all I am, know His voice, and obey when He speaks. Never me, Always Him.
Youth Camp...my turning point. =)
Getting me a room to myself for the first night was perhaps a wise decision made earlier by Iris. At first I thought it would be used for counselling purposes. But in the end, it was used for my own recuperating purposes so that when out with the youth, I would be more effective.
The first afternoon/evening, before the session began, I sat on the floor of the room, stared at the bible, and began to pour myself out to God. What in the world did He put me here for. For enthusiam and energy, the youth have Ivan to look up to. For direction and authority, they have Iris. For 'entertainment' they had Pastor Victor. What did they need me for?
I get up from the floor, and resolve to be useful to whomever, whenever. Here am I, Lord...what do You want me to do? Open my eyes to those You want me to touch, even if it's just one. It matters. I'll be there. Show me where to go, where to be.
After the first session, I think things go pretty smoothly, though I have my reservations about the speaker. I am minding my own business when suddenly the camp commandant urgently beckons me to come. Her tone worries me. And lo behold, the speaker is praying for one of our youth. After whispering something to her, he gets up and leaves and the 'floor' is left to me. The youth either expect me to say something or do something.
My heart breaks to hear her story.
Later on, another girl comes to talk to me. With her, I have a little less compassion. Some may think I am harsh sometimes, especially if you hear my tone. Those very experienced in counselling might be aghast at my choice of words and levelness. If you come to me for a pity party, you won't get it. I will tell to your face what I think you should do, take it or leave it. Whatever your choice, because I am your leader, I will still have to watch over you. But I am not going to pity you. I am not going to coax you gently out of it. I will declare to you who you are in Christ Jesus, and ask that your ears be closed to the devil's lies.
Later, I have a discussion with one of the leaders, whom I am trying to mentor very low profile-ly. It's a good discussion. I am surprised he opens up and shares his opinions.
First night over.
The second night...Pastor Victor invites the local leaders to minister to the youth, to 'welcome them home' with a hug. There are quite a few adult helpers around, so this is good. I look around to see if we miss anyone. I see my cousin. Sometimes, the most overlooked people are the leaders themselves. And often the musicians. I see a young adult needing a shoulder to lean on too. Later on, I see a young girl. She seems to avoid me, so I stay clear.
Later I decline to go for supper with my peers because I think I should 'be there'. I start to pack up my bag things and suddenly the girl who avoided me, barges into me, and starts to pour out her heart! Truthfully, I hardly understand what she is saying. After 1 and a half hours of wailing and crying, I learn to discern when and how to stop a counselling session.
Jojo muses that I have just been tested in all expects of pastoral care in one night.
The next night, again, another ministering time which local leaders are invited to help minister. This time we are asked to pray for them. God opened my eyes to see that He doesn't see the person, but He is God. He will come upon whom He wants, not because of the volume of the prayer or the experience of the one praying.
I also am challenged as to how to encourage my own cousin. Basically I try to tell him that no matter how great a leader you are in CF or in youth, you're still allowed to be my little cousin, whom I will take care of, and it's okay to be vulnerable for a moment. I remember him as more expressive when he was younger...but I guess they do grow up. And I recognize that though I am his cousin, I have yet to earn his trust as a friend and leader. And so, we'll build and see what happens. The next day, he gives me this aww shucks look. And I know he's okay.
Pastor prays for specific age group people, encouraging them with words of prophecy and exhortation. As I allow another girl to just lean on my shoulders, I pray that he will also encourage one of our leaders whom I feel people overlook and whom I dunno how to reach. God answers. Am glad.
Before the night ends, another young girl comes to me and asks if she can just have a chit chat with me. I start to wonder if God has engraved on my forehead 'I only look fierce, but am a softie'.
After our short heart to heart talk, the adult helpers suggest to go to McDs. Ivan drives. Sometimes, I think Ivan is like Kean Khang. He assumes the role of driver, no questions asked. In the car, the 3 guys do most of the talking. It's kind of nice not to have to make conversation. After a long day, it's just nice to be around people without having to speak.
By the end of the camp, I no longer ask why I was there. I also learn a valuable object lesson for my own life. God convicts me of my weakness and sin and reluctance to move forward. You cannot reach the mountain top if you are forever contemplating whether to take the first step.
Quite a lot of ice is broken with the youth too. Though I can't get in sync with them like Ivan does, or command them like Iris does, but as Pastor Reynold says, they need to know that you are there if they need you. So, there I'll be. (Faith Hill song?) With that 'chop' on my forehead.
I have much to learn and to equip myself in. The question was am I willing to. And if I have no passion for anything in particular, why do I not ask? There is also a pattern of heartbreak for me in camp. Of our youth and broken families. Whether it is cold silence, absent parents or even a straying spouse, many of these kids bear the brunt of it and don't have people to share with. You can't sing with all your heart 'Break my heart for what breaks Yours' and expect to come out unscathed.
I don't intend to be some hero either. The experience in camp showed me that I am inadequate. But I serve a more than adequate God. I am to seek Him with all I am, know His voice, and obey when He speaks. Never me, Always Him.
Youth Camp...my turning point. =)
Saturday, November 22, 2008
VBS - Very Butt Spraining
=D
Hehe...it's TRUUUUUEEEE! Talk about a aching gluteus maximus. And I am so tired that I would say this surmounts to climbing Mt Kinabalu or exploring Gua Tempurung (extreme package).
Two days with kids is TIRING! Eyes are closing d...
I shall share with you the highlights of today:
1. Nithiya pulling my hand during lunch time saying, 'Teacher, pray for us before we eat'.
2. Juny grabbing my hand for security and comfort when the show at the Planetarium scared her.
3. Joel making funny faces with me despite me lecturing him a few times on his behavior.
4. Nithiya putting her arms around me.
5. Me scolding the kids on the mic to keep quiet and listen. I think I should reconcile myself to the fact that I will always be the headprefect, not tolerating disrespect and chaos.
6. Pastor Reynold's appearance in church after a week retreat in Lahat Datu.
7. Me catching an older boy lying about deliberately throwing rubbish on the floor of the bus, and showing my distaste for it. (Sean says I don't give face. It's getting truer and truer.)
8. Not being called auntie! haha!
I want to say that there is no loss (except for sleep and temper) in getting involved with kids. None at all. But I certainly cannot say that this is my cup of tea. I also think that it is perhaps the fact that it is not a natural thing for me that it takes me a day or two to warm up to them. Today, the faces that were most familiar were those who were most naughty, yet they are the ones who give the cheeky smiles and listen when scolded as though my words were to pull their ears.
Naughty, I can take, and I can love. Cocky...this I have an issue with and would rather stay far, far away.
I think that kids should have fun. I believe they should be allowed to run around and be crazy. I believe they should laugh and frolick. I believe they should be hugged and cuddled. I believe that many need kind words and building up.
But I also believe in discipline by being firm.
I just need to learn how to differentiate anger and frustration from being firm and in control. I still believe that something must be done to get attention and I do not think raising voice is the right way. I think I will get a whistle.
There is a time to play, and a time to learn, and a time to be still. I think we all want the same thing. It's just that the execution of the plan is interpreted differently.
Perhaps I am too much a discipline junkie. Not that I myself show great self discipline. But when in a group, I do respect rules and the leader in front, even though they do frustrate me sometimes. I remember telling Zury one time to STOP MUMBLING into the mic with his fake slang. After 3 times, still no one could get his announcement and just weren't listening anymore. If you aren't clear, there is no reason why people should listen to you.
Value their time. In the same way, we need to value the kids' time. And we need to acknowledge their right to BE kids.
I find that I cannot judge a 10 year old for being mischevious or dislike him for it. I also will not stop him from being cheeky. But I would teach him that he must not hurt others in the process and also that there is a proper time for all that cheekiness. I constantly remind myself that just because I am tired, it does not give me the right to lash out at a child no matter how naughty they are.
I also discover that a 10 year old can't really hold a grudge at you if you will humble yourself and admit you are wrong. I also discover that a child will listen to you if you do what you ask him to. We told all the kids to eat on the tarpoulin (spelling?) mat. But if we are all sitting on the carpet, ignoring them, we set a double standard. It is true that I probably will not spill my food on the carpet, but if I give him that rule, it makes a difference to him when I sit with him on the mat, even though we do not have anything to talk about (since he probably thinks I am an uptight teacher who's picking on him...). He later asked me a funny, random question about myself, which I appreciate as a peace offering.
It's the older ones I find hard to swallow. And it's pretty sad that those involved with the children ministry are all who seem to have a superiority complex, thinking themselves of more noble descent because they are hitting teens, in their teens, or can play a musical instrument. These are attitudes which I somehow hope will change in time without intervention...but I doubt it.
I find that our church youth are divided into two main groups. For the time being I will classify them as A and B:
A: Greater respect for parents, curfews, and people in authority. More humble than B. Easier to talk to, to teach. May not like but will look after kids with love. "You're okay but I prefer my clique" and "Are you trustworthy?"
B: Parents are more of older friends, allowance provider, driver. An air of superiority amongst them. Volunteer to help but more for attention purposes. "I'm better than you" and "You need to be at my level to be in my gang".
Something to that extent lah. But anyhow, this is just a observation as I spend more time with the 'OTHER' group in the youth.
Anyhow...VBS is a spring board for my observations. As I get to know some of the helpers, I also notice that first impressions can truly be deceiving. (This is why Kien should not make a conclusion of a girl based on one date! Haha!) A girl I thought to be extremely docile and mild mannered is actually VERY assertive and can be pretty demanding. You never really know people till you work with them.
I thank God for the opportunity to work with different people. I thank Him for exposing me to a different group of people in the church. I thank Him for letting me know them a bit more and perhaps the other way is true. They also know me better. Hidup Headprefect! Hahaha! I thank Him for the girls who were in my group. I thank Him for the observations. I thank Him for the wow-moments. Hearing the children sing 'This is my desire' loud loud was wow. I wonder how the Lord would have felt.
I ask that He show me where my concept of children and the ministry is wrong and flawed, especially with my lack of faith. I ask that He give me the courage to speak up about the things that are right and true too. And I ask for wisdom to know which is which.
Good night. My butt needs to rest. Hahahahahah!
Hehe...it's TRUUUUUEEEE! Talk about a aching gluteus maximus. And I am so tired that I would say this surmounts to climbing Mt Kinabalu or exploring Gua Tempurung (extreme package).
Two days with kids is TIRING! Eyes are closing d...
I shall share with you the highlights of today:
1. Nithiya pulling my hand during lunch time saying, 'Teacher, pray for us before we eat'.
2. Juny grabbing my hand for security and comfort when the show at the Planetarium scared her.
3. Joel making funny faces with me despite me lecturing him a few times on his behavior.
4. Nithiya putting her arms around me.
5. Me scolding the kids on the mic to keep quiet and listen. I think I should reconcile myself to the fact that I will always be the headprefect, not tolerating disrespect and chaos.
6. Pastor Reynold's appearance in church after a week retreat in Lahat Datu.
7. Me catching an older boy lying about deliberately throwing rubbish on the floor of the bus, and showing my distaste for it. (Sean says I don't give face. It's getting truer and truer.)
8. Not being called auntie! haha!
I want to say that there is no loss (except for sleep and temper) in getting involved with kids. None at all. But I certainly cannot say that this is my cup of tea. I also think that it is perhaps the fact that it is not a natural thing for me that it takes me a day or two to warm up to them. Today, the faces that were most familiar were those who were most naughty, yet they are the ones who give the cheeky smiles and listen when scolded as though my words were to pull their ears.
Naughty, I can take, and I can love. Cocky...this I have an issue with and would rather stay far, far away.
I think that kids should have fun. I believe they should be allowed to run around and be crazy. I believe they should laugh and frolick. I believe they should be hugged and cuddled. I believe that many need kind words and building up.
But I also believe in discipline by being firm.
I just need to learn how to differentiate anger and frustration from being firm and in control. I still believe that something must be done to get attention and I do not think raising voice is the right way. I think I will get a whistle.
There is a time to play, and a time to learn, and a time to be still. I think we all want the same thing. It's just that the execution of the plan is interpreted differently.
Perhaps I am too much a discipline junkie. Not that I myself show great self discipline. But when in a group, I do respect rules and the leader in front, even though they do frustrate me sometimes. I remember telling Zury one time to STOP MUMBLING into the mic with his fake slang. After 3 times, still no one could get his announcement and just weren't listening anymore. If you aren't clear, there is no reason why people should listen to you.
Value their time. In the same way, we need to value the kids' time. And we need to acknowledge their right to BE kids.
I find that I cannot judge a 10 year old for being mischevious or dislike him for it. I also will not stop him from being cheeky. But I would teach him that he must not hurt others in the process and also that there is a proper time for all that cheekiness. I constantly remind myself that just because I am tired, it does not give me the right to lash out at a child no matter how naughty they are.
I also discover that a 10 year old can't really hold a grudge at you if you will humble yourself and admit you are wrong. I also discover that a child will listen to you if you do what you ask him to. We told all the kids to eat on the tarpoulin (spelling?) mat. But if we are all sitting on the carpet, ignoring them, we set a double standard. It is true that I probably will not spill my food on the carpet, but if I give him that rule, it makes a difference to him when I sit with him on the mat, even though we do not have anything to talk about (since he probably thinks I am an uptight teacher who's picking on him...). He later asked me a funny, random question about myself, which I appreciate as a peace offering.
It's the older ones I find hard to swallow. And it's pretty sad that those involved with the children ministry are all who seem to have a superiority complex, thinking themselves of more noble descent because they are hitting teens, in their teens, or can play a musical instrument. These are attitudes which I somehow hope will change in time without intervention...but I doubt it.
I find that our church youth are divided into two main groups. For the time being I will classify them as A and B:
A: Greater respect for parents, curfews, and people in authority. More humble than B. Easier to talk to, to teach. May not like but will look after kids with love. "You're okay but I prefer my clique" and "Are you trustworthy?"
B: Parents are more of older friends, allowance provider, driver. An air of superiority amongst them. Volunteer to help but more for attention purposes. "I'm better than you" and "You need to be at my level to be in my gang".
Something to that extent lah. But anyhow, this is just a observation as I spend more time with the 'OTHER' group in the youth.
Anyhow...VBS is a spring board for my observations. As I get to know some of the helpers, I also notice that first impressions can truly be deceiving. (This is why Kien should not make a conclusion of a girl based on one date! Haha!) A girl I thought to be extremely docile and mild mannered is actually VERY assertive and can be pretty demanding. You never really know people till you work with them.
I thank God for the opportunity to work with different people. I thank Him for exposing me to a different group of people in the church. I thank Him for letting me know them a bit more and perhaps the other way is true. They also know me better. Hidup Headprefect! Hahaha! I thank Him for the girls who were in my group. I thank Him for the observations. I thank Him for the wow-moments. Hearing the children sing 'This is my desire' loud loud was wow. I wonder how the Lord would have felt.
I ask that He show me where my concept of children and the ministry is wrong and flawed, especially with my lack of faith. I ask that He give me the courage to speak up about the things that are right and true too. And I ask for wisdom to know which is which.
Good night. My butt needs to rest. Hahahahahah!
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