Funerals

After a few, even my own paternal grandma's, I am now confused as how one should behave in such an environment. Do you laugh? Do you put on a solemn face? What do you say to the relatives?

I remember one particular grand aunty who came to grandma's funeral saying quite distinctively 'Very sorry for you loss' without...well...without much sorrow. And farnee thing is that my late grandma was her sister! Why is she 'sorry for MY loss' when it is also very much HER loss too? I dunno lah...

Anyhow, today, I thought I'd say 'peace be with you' but when I shook the relative's hand, I just shook in silence.

Then, the farnee thing is how we all can gather at the table and talk about something totally out of the question! And then laugh.

I know we aren't supposed to be like so sad until feeling dejected and all. But I also dunno if we should be laughing at all.

However, I have noticed this. That if the deceased is above 70, and sickly, most of the time the mood is 'lighter'. These kind of funerals are expected to happen.

The ones that have sombre moods are when a life is taken 'prematurely'. I put it in inverted commas because, like it or not, their passing never catches God by surprise, nor was it out of His expectation. But these funerals are filled with so much sobbing and great ache. I am careful with my expression at these kind of funerals. Certain things are appropriate. Certain things are not.

Again, I don't know how to react, behave, express at funerals. I also need to practice on what to say, and who to talk to during these 'events'. Truth is, even though they are church members, most of them I do not know. Most of them I am not familiar with to sit down and have a decent conversation with. Ah...it's not that I am INDECENT. =) But basically, since I don't know the mood, and I don't know the people, I don't know what to say.

Most times I realize I worry too much. =) Most people don't notice me anyway. =) It's sometimes a good thing. =)